Your writing style is bland and leaves plenty to be desired, try doing more than just dialogue.
“Well, this is a first,” said a voice behind Cinnamon. Cinnamon looked over her shoulder as the one who spoke sat his black ass down beside her on the edge of the shingled, shoe-strewn rooftop. THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S GOT SHINGLES 'N' SHOES. 'CAUSE WE'RE NOT YOUR AVERAGE MEGAMAN 2 OPENING SCENE.“Hello, Spider,” said the nurse. “Sorry I took your spot.”Spider blinked. “Uh…It’s really not a big deal. What’s going on?”Cinnamon looked up at the full moon. A delivery flamingoid slowly flapped its pink gossamer wings just below it, carrying what looked to be a large telescope. Then a maverick flamingoid suicide bombed it, and it exploded, and the telescope-shaped object fell from the skies. It was tragic, in a silly way. That telescope, that eye of discovery, now lost from the skies, never to be received, never to be used... it was just another abortion of this world. But AAANYWAY,
The Dark Tower is the one of the only two Stephen King series I've ever wanted to read.
No you! Someguy is a master of the literary arts!