I'll make a Jim Hammond reference whenever I please.

The human torch looks like a red sock with arms...

on fire

YOU'RE a red sock with arms, on fire.

: Lunchebox  20 January 2008, 04:30:04

Lunche is a pyrokentic.  This is old news.

I thought Sano was the pyrokentic...
Also, why can no one get my design right? Everyone gets close, but never right. I mean long sleeves? Come on.

Well excuuuuuuuuse me, Princess.

For improving on your character design.

I was talking to you. Panda's post just beat mine by SECONDS.

Lunche is a pyrokentic.  This is old news.

Heard it, but in the exact same way.
Memory or copy-paste?
Props if memory.

Memory.

HEY, CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH, MR. GATES!

Is that Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four? NO! It's Jim Hammond, the REAL Human Torch! He used to punch Nazis, and their arms would melt off.

It says fists, but my tablet hand writing is atrocious.

I got one.

So there's this motorcycle enthusiast, and his girlfriend invites him to have dinner with her parents. So, just before he leaves, he grabs a jar of Vaseline, because he knows it's gonna rain later, and doesn't want the rain to ruin his bike.

So he gets to the girl's house, and she greets him at the door. She then says to him "I should have told you this before, but... We used to fight about who would do the dishes after dinner ALL the time, so now the rule is whoever says ANYTHING at dinner will have to do the dishes, so make sure you don't say anything."

Sure enough, when he glanced in the kitchen, there was a mountain of dirty dishes piled up in the sink.

So, dinner rolls around, and there is silence around the table. The guy decides to see how far he can go with this.... And nails the daughter right on the table.

The parents are angry, and the daughter.... Annoyed. But no one says a thing. The guy decides to nail the mother next, and does so.

Daughter is pissed, and the father is FURIOUS. The mother is a little more relaxed.

Guy looks outside, and notices it's starting to rain. So he stands up and pulls the Vaseline out of his pocket, causing the father to jump up and say:

[spoiler]"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'LL DO THE DISHES, BUT FOR GODSAKES, DON'T DO IT![/spoiler]

LESS TALKING, MORE FIGHTING!

BACK IN MY DAY, LAMERS KNEW HOW TO TROLL.

Cheesecake is full of lies, you think it's full of mozarella cheese or cheddar or something the first time you hear about it. Then you see its some white creamy crap with some strawberries on top. Seriously, WTF, total disappointment.

Cream cheese.

Yeah, I suggest censoring it anyway, as I'm sure it will be a problem, since this is supposed to be an all ages forum.

... Where we post dead baby jokes.

You can download a mod for your Jesus apps (it works on all versions 'cause it just rewrites some bible code or something) that makes is so your Jesus can just go from infancy to manhood just like that. None of that in-between trials and tribulations hub-bub.

Personally I'd rather one that keeps my Jesus as little baby Jesus, who's sitting in his crib watching the baby Einstein videos learning about shapes and colors.

: preventerWIND  10 January 2008, 13:10:33

: Mikero  10 January 2008, 03:04:16

Jesus 1.0 is incompatible with Windows Vista, and has few USB ports.

I still have to use my old version, 0.7. Just goes to show, nothing is mac compatible.

Dumbass, Macs are Buddhist monks. PCs are the patron saints of Christian computing. Linux... We don't talk about them.

Anyway for Mac you just need to run a Bahai patch and then you get to run any Jesus and all the old Buddhist apps. I think the Intel Macbooks have it built-in though.











Okay are we done here?

One more:

I still say it's a travesty that my old Moses is no longer compatible with PC.

What the hell Microsoft? The Moses was over 9000 times better than The Jesus.

And done.


A Legends collection would be nice, as I'm open to giving it another shot.

: Lunchebox  16 January 2008, 02:19:15

: Johncarllos  16 January 2008, 01:49:39

I just want to drink fast is all...

Mike, I know most people swallow while they drink fast, but I really want to add another talent to my list.

You mean over-coming your gag reflex?

I can see how this wouldd come in handy for you, given your line of work.

Wrong though.
Not the gag reflex, it's nothing like gagging, my body forces it down and not up.

I can see how this would come in handy for you, given your line of work.

John spelled it wrong, it's Bastardball.

Basically, it's like basketball, but you're encouraged to punch, hit, kick, humiliate, and otherwise brutalize other players.

I was the only one who liked Waspinator. D:

Everyone liked Waspinator.

Depth Charge.

Was that the Shark guy? I loved that guy!

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies in my garage and a ferrari in my garage?
[spoiler]I don't have a ferrari in my garage.[/spoiler]

You're doing it wrong.

It's "What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari"

[spoiler]I don't have a ferrari in my garage.[/spoiler]

Alternatively, the joke can be used with any model of car.

Now: More Dead Baby jokes.

What's the difference between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?

[spoiler]You can't unload the truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.[/spoiler]

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

[spoiler]To see the expression on it's face when you drop it in.[/spoiler]

Why did the five year old drop the ball?

[spoiler]A truck hit him.[/spoiler]

What's green and red and goes a hundred miles per hour?

[spoiler]Frog in a blender.[/spoiler]

Ratrap > Cheetor

I just want to drink fast is all...

Mike, I know most people swallow while they drink fast, but I really want to add another talent to my list.

You mean over-coming your gag reflex?

I can see how this wouldd come in handy for you, given your line of work.

AND it was actually GOOD.

Jake's submission alone has made me want to frequent MMM more.

This jam alone has made me not want to come to MMM as often.

Really, like your Jesus needs an MP3 player, Radio/TV tuner, movie player!

The new Jesus is over hyped and over priced.

I've wanted to see it for a while but haven't. I hear reports that there's a pretty damn clear nod to there being an upcoming Batman Superman movie in it.

WB is actually making that Justice League movie that's slated to some out some time between 2009 and 2011 (I forget when exactly).

But they're using different actors for batman and Superman, since Bale has a three movie contract as Batman, and that third movie will probably not be Justice League.

Same for the superman guy.

I read Lost Girls, and I SO SO SO wanted to like it because, hell, it's Alan Moore. Alas, ugly art, and kind of boring story made me not like it.

He was trying to turn porn into an art form, or so he said.

I'll stick to my copy of Watchmen.

Not to interupt the court room drama... but.. I messed around with JC's pic again.

I'm sorry, JC, but your beard is ugly. You should trim the damn thing, make it look neat.

Okay guys, spoiler tag stuff. I decided to skim this thread after a while since there seemed to be some spoilers for this week's Avengers. I read New, Mighty, and Initiative. They are 3 of my main books (the books I actually buy) along with X-Men (just regular, except I'm buying the others for Messiah Complex), Astonishing X-Men, Green Lantern/Green Lantern Corps (in trades), The Immortal Iron Fist (in trades), and others. But even on books I don't buy I don't really want to hear spoilers...

While I get to read a lot of comics for free because it's my job, I don't get to read them until Fridays.

Anyway, outside the superhero stuff I'm really into Fables (am reading vol. 3 as I type this) and Y The Last Man (waiting on vol. 10) right now. Gonna read Pride Of Baghdad when I get the chance.

I'll get back to you tomorrow, when I've read my comics for this week/caught up from last week.

I highly recommend getting Walking Dead for the non super-hero genre.

Vol. 1-7 are out now, but be warned, after volume 1, it changes artists, and so the art took a dive in quality, but it's still solid in the writing department. Basically it's about this small town cop waking out of a coma, to find a huge Zombie outbreak, and it is really #####ing good. Of course it's Kirkman, so it's quality.

Oh, and I think you'd like Fell. It's sort of like a Detective series, but it's really addicting. It's Ellis, so of course it's great.

And if you're into the battle armor, fighting space aliens, thing, pick up Tech Jacket. To best describe it, it's Invincible meets Guyver.

Please, my Jesus still works fine, and it's nearly ten years old, it's not that hard to maintain.

Bah, kids today.

My dad told me about this one Spider-Man comic one day in Toronto where Spider-Man beats up and almost kills King Pin for putting Aunt May in the hospital.

It sounded pretty cool.

Back in Black Arch, which took forever and a day to finish. Spider-Man takes out his black costume, and goes all punish-spider on the criminals, trying to find out who ordered the hit. Breaking hands and what not. All this build up to face down the Kingpin in prison.

So all the inmates stand around for his fight with the Kingpin, and for it, he's topless and mask less. And he proceeds to beat the ##### out of him, and... Then he says "If she dies, so do you hurr hurr hurr".

So all that build up, for nothing. And then One More Day happens and the comic becomes real #####.

I feel bad for JMS (The writer), who tried to take his name off the last two books, since they were editorialized into something completely different than his intent. The same thing happened with the Sins Past arch, and I think he didn't want to catch ##### for something he didn't do, AGAIN.

Hence my not reading it now.

Ah but there are still some GOOD series, like Thor, Ghost Rider, Punisher MAX, Incredible Hulk, The Twelve, Avengers Initiative, Cable and Deadpool, Captain America, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Immortal Iron Fist, Marvel Zombies 2, Nova, Omega the Unknown, She-Hulk 2, X-Factor, Ult. Spider-Man, Ult. Fantastic Four, Ultimate Iron Man II, etc etc, to keep me satisfied on the Marvel side. Oh, and the avengers books, which I'm considering dropping. ALso some other titles.

As for DC, it's a little lighter, with just Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, and Justice Society of America.

Then there's Image, Darkhorse, and other misc. independent companies with comics I follow...

Yeah, I'll survive without Amazing Spider-Man.

Manga is a bit tedious for my tastes, and really draw of American comics, for me, isn't just Marvel and DC.

I LOOOVE creator-owned work, like Hellboy, or Invincible.

Been meaning to get into Flaming Carrot.

That's even more ridiculous and gay if he has energy blasts.

You know what? I think that's exactly what Loeb was hinting at in this issue.

God damn him and his crappy writing.

I found it pretty interesting. We know Rick isn't dead from WWH now and is burning angry. Though one must wonder what triggers Ricks transformations cause Rick doesn't get angry easily.

Also, why the hell he has a GUN.

Shulkie being annoyed with the very people who shot her cousin into space or willfully attack him countless times seems to make enough sense.

Which makes you wonder why she was even there, and why Samson seemed to intent on annoying her more. Seriously, Samson has been kind of a dick lately.

Liked Mighty Avengers but hey anything with Spiderwoman, Ms. Marvel and Sentry is something I'd read, ooh, and SKRULLS. Kinda annoyed they're gonna have an issue for the Venom virus outbreak which we already pretty much saw from Luke Cages angle in New Avengers.

I don't know, Wasp pisses me off, and Spider-Woman and Ms. Marvel are eh to me. It's a shame that Bendis doesn't know how to write the Sentry. In fact, the only person who seems to be able to write him is Paul Jenkins.

As for Amazing Spiderman I'm trying to focus now on the current story and not the crapfest it was caused by and I liked it enough. I am interested in seeing Jackpot now.

Again, I was hoping to read Amazing Spider-Man, not "Peter Parker is a jackass regressed by about 30 years". Seriously, I cannot stand Peter Parker anymore.


Also, Invincible is a great book.

I think the only people that will be in this thread regularly will be the three of us.

And I thought Hulk was kind of... Dumb.

I mean ooooh [spoiler]Rick Jones[/spoiler], and he has a GUN!

Also, Shulkie seemed unnecessarily bitchy. And Doc Damson... He seemed too ready to start a fight with the Russians.

I don't know, that just might be my whole "Jeph Loeb, stop writing comics, you jerk" bias talking.

What I DID like however was Nova, which you can never go wrong with. I love that series so much.

The Twelve is off to a very good start, though I thought it would be about WWII era Superheroes fighting Nazis.

Ghost Rider was good, and I am so glad it's not getting canceled like I thought it was.

Mighty Avengers was... Eh. And I take back what I said about Bagely's art being horrible, since he can actually draw Venom well.

And the new B.P.R.D. series has a good start, and I can't wait to see where they go with it.

I also, through alternative methods, I read the new Amazing Spider-Man (without having to pay for it), and wow. That was terrible. I mean, Marvel is going WAY out of their way to make this comic completely unlikable.

I wanted to read a SPIDER-MAN comic, not "Peter Parker is a penniless, 30 year-old, loser who lives with his mother figure".


Ah well, I'm just gonna read me some Goon.

Yeah, despite my love for Slott's work, I refuse to pick up Amazing Spider-Man, until they retcon this retcon when Quesada steps down.

Actually, it's the same damn thing.

No it isn't.

Or you can just look at the comic, and see it was a part of the Matriarch's plan to get rid of the NMO leader, Jake.

He was never one in the first place.

Hijinks ensue.

Uh... WIND, Future Sano, and Jake are going to the past in another dimension to switch some blue prints, because for some reason a Girl Nova can save the NMO from the Matriarch.

Wait,. who's leading them there... Future Sano or Fem Nova?

I won't. Also, can someone give me a quicky recap of what the hell is going on?

I call next.

I actually can act pretty well. I think I can do the serious, misguided, justice seeking Fireman. Or a cocky, arrogant,  Elecman.

I would go and Audition, save this is happening on the other side of the country.

What will the Everybody Loves Lunchebox segments be like?

"Rockman"? What is this Rockman?

I'm guessing he's ROCKMAN: UNDERGROUND SECRET AGENT.

I hate Tobey McGuire has Spider-Man.

And from the preview I've seen, he's back to having no job, and living with his aunt.

: Lunchebox   7 January 2008, 08:28:11

: Captain Sanoguchi   7 January 2008, 03:16:32

He's a Ninja, he wears a unitard.
Get your mind out of the gutter.

Also, I call the next one.

Posted on:  7 January 2008, 01:41:12

---

STORY JAM!

[awful]

Stop it.

As a friend, I'm asking you to stop being you in our thread please.
I second putting Lunche in, though.

Only if I get to be Mary. Because it's better than being Rita.

• Rockman will not be in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OR?!