AND EMERALDS AND #####



So I was thinking.






Tomorrow.






This continues.

He just can't think of a weapon for me.

How about I throw money? Oh, wait, that goes against my religion.

How about I just duck a lot? Because I'm short?

How about I watch movies at you?

There was an episode of Chuck where one of the characters named Morgan buys a DeLorean that can't go over like 26MPH and rides around in it. He called it the DeMorgan. Yes. I know.

I've never been big on cars.

I mean, if it's nice, clean, reliable, and gets me from point A to point B with no problems... I'm pretty much set.

I'll admit that I'm not a fan of the color green in cars... unless it's JUST the right shade. It's one of the only things I don't prefer in green.

YOU DIDN'T BUY CANNED SALMON DID YOU

If anything that should disqualify you.

30 hours and counting.

---

Now that I've got most of my movie library on my terabyte hard drive, I've developed a fun habit of leaving my favorite movies running in the background of my computer.

I usually have the video covered but the audio's always going and it's almost cathartic to have my familiar favorites constantly running in the background. Especially Shaun of the Dead, that movie is so second-nature to me now that I'm pretty much sub-consciously visualizing the movie anyway just by hearing it, and it doesn't even distract me from what I'm doing.

I like it even less when they keep the character and replace the actor.

What's unbelievable is that they did BOTH of these things.

Anyway, almost halfway through with Californication (which is definitely worth a watch and surprisingly endearing).

After that, I promised a friend I'd watch at least one season of Bones. Not really looking forward to it, but it might be good. I don't know.

And then... Black Books. Another British show I'd been meaning to get to for a long time but completely forgot about. It's called the spiritual "sister-show" to Spaced, and I guess Pegg, Frost, Stevenson, etc. have all made cameos on the show. It stars Dylan Moran (David from Shaun of the Dead) and the main girl from Green Wing. Also Bill Bailey.

So, yeah, I'm excited for that one.

I was watching A Goofy Movie the other night. Sooooo many memories. SOOOO MANY. Love that movie.

---

http://movies.yahoo.com/premieres/11990378/standardformat/

Get hyped, Tarantino fans.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YOU PEOPLE"

Insomnia has struck.

24 hours and counting.

I was honestly considering it earlier today. Yesterday. I need to sleep.

Heh.

I'm pretty sure I have them all saved. I'll check some other time.

WHAT.

MIKE WHAT.

WHAT.

Why? Did they do it? Mother#####er.

We were joking about stage names and how mine would be Alec Smart. That's actually not bad, haha.

And I need someone to tell me where they've heard the Wal-Mart joke so I can see if it's different enough because that sort of thing drives me insane. Like, I neeeeed my stuff to be original.

As for VOICES...

Oh, man. I can DO voices! Like, I can. I really want to fit them in. But I haven't been able to at all yet. I'll work them in somehow eventually.

The original joke idea I had is that the kid just says he likes trains, and they build him a train room with a working train bed and a train set on the cieling, and he's like "Whoah, hey, I just said I LIKE trains, not 'Make my whole room into a train paradise.'"

I was planning on saying that, but for whatever reason, I went with the Pokemon/Digimon one again. And I'm still pretty convinced that you don't really need to explain that, because if anything it's obvious that they're both very similar children fads. And it wasn't meant to be nerdy, more to be kiddy.

I just don't think Pokemon and Digimon are that obscure that I need to explain, but I definitely see what you're saying.

And yeah, Mike, a lot of people there aren't paying attention. It's the venue. This was actually our best crowd, as in the crowd that payed the most attention. All my other videos, you can hardly hear me or when anyone laughs (even though they were) because there's constant talking and noise in the background. This time was the only time they really took us seriously on stage, and you can actually tell when they're laughing, so I decided to put it online.

It's also the only time we didn't have the camera just sitting on a stable surface, so you get Cloverfield-cam, haha.

So you've really heard that Wal-Mart joke before? Like, how exactly? Are you sure it wasn't me who said it before maybe on MMM or something? I've had it lying around for a while and it's always been one I'm proud of. Sucks if there's already a similar one out there.

I'm really trying to work up my own stage persona. Because I've found that just me going up there telling jokes doesn't work. I feel like I could really play off self-deprecation well, but that's not the direction I want to take. I want to go for an over-ego sarcastic laid-back persona. Because that's more of who I am in real life, and I feel like that's already funny in itself. Also, self-deprecating is overdone. And there's already a guy in our group who does it so well.

So, yeah. Right now I've got some decent material, and enough that I can move stuff around and use different stuff every night. I think of new stuff at a steady pace, and it's all at least decent, so I don't have to worry about that right now.

I'm really just trying to focus on stage presence at the moment. Which includes not taking up my notes anymore, and being a little more loose on stage maybe.

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I definitely appreciate it.

Anyone who thought Push looked good in the first place is a doofus-butt.

Jake.

'Tis my thang.

...ew. Go away, mold-brain.

FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER

I SHARE WITH YOU

THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF

ALEC ROBBINS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ult6QhDsF5w

I got a text last night at 3AM. Was too tired to get up and check it because that requires me getting out of bed, and I'm in a loft.

I woke up an hour later and it was 11PM. And that wasn't a text, it was my alarm. And I have no idea WHY I thought it was 3AM. But I did miss a big test. Fun.

I just feel like it could've been something so much better, but it would've needed Rube for that.

I'm the guy who leaves the "UPDATE AIM" window in the corner of his screen because he's too lazy to click the button that updates AIM and gets rid of that annoying window that stays there even when watching a video full-screen.

Agreed. I enjoyed it because it was another dip into DLM, but I agree with you that it was most certainly not at all very DLM.

Haha, I laughed at "WHOLE SHIP IS A CITY" for some reason. And that Cargo Loader is such a Nuts & Bolts ripoff, loser. I liked all the thumbs, they were cool.

hahaha

No caps on the first "h."

Oh, Snare! Being a smart aleck is MY job!

*laugh track*

I think the head's the perfect size because it actually makes the body look a lot shorter than it is. It looks short. Like me in a suit with a slightly bigger head. And an odd expression. I love it. Facebook default pic. For now.

Same. Fix that #####.

Ahahaha, yeah. When I finally caught that the first time I had the biggest smile on my face.

BARNEY STINSON



HIRED

Seen it before. Still like it.

OH DEAR GOD.

OH DEAR GOD YESSSS.

OKAY FINE I WANT TO BE RAINBOW

I believe I'm all caught up with How I Met Your Mother now. Good stuff.

Going to get on with Californication.

And then I promised a friend I'd check out Bones. I have no interest in the show, but I figure I'll give it a try.

I... I NEVER KNEW THAT.

But that'd probably mess me up more. I'm a fan of pressing backspace repeatedly. I'm just used to it.

In the context of the episode, it's probably a great deal funnier. The waterfall of "awesome" and the zooming out of Barney's eye made me laugh pretty hard. This was more of a promotional ad focusing on the joke from the episode.

In the show, they're commenting on the resume and making fun of Barney throughout the whole thing.

And Abe, maybe you should, you know, stop being Scottish.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't realize you were referring to that AIM conversation, haha. I thought it was the video conversions, yeah. And I thought I was downloading bad movies. And I thought that I was doing something wrong when I ripped DVD's.

And then FINALLY I figured it out.

Wait, what?

And Slugkid, I'm the same way. I'll add words or mistakes and backspace BUT I'M STILL FASTER THAN ALL OF YOU.

Everything... and nothing... is possimpable.

This is why How I Met Your Mother rocks.

I'm fast both ways. I think a little slower when copying.

On AIM, it gets pretty bad. I probably have a ratio of 5 of my own IM's to every singular IM from the other person.

I actually type so fast that I tend to type on AIM as if I were talking, by sending fragments of what I'm saying and timing them as if I were actually pausing when I talk.

Like...

Asrman1 (6:14:30 PM): I'M GONNA' PUNCH SOMETHING
Asrman1 (6:14:35 PM): all this time
Asrman1 (6:14:39 PM): I thought some of my files were mono and only worked in the right ear
Asrman1 (6:14:42 PM): BUT NO
Asrman1 (6:14:44 PM): it just turns out
Asrman1 (6:14:49 PM): that I had the audio balance turned all the way to right in Winamp

The other guy didn't even get a word in. You can use the timestamps to get the gist of my pauses.

Fourth try:
104 wpm, 4 mistakes.

Fifth try:
117 wpm, 1 mistake.

Sixth try:
118 wpm, no mistakes.

AH I LOVE IT.

I'm Snare, the 1# cause of tooth and moral decay in America. Hiiiiii

CUZ HE SO SWEET

First try:
106 wpm, 1 mistake (I didn't capitalize an H).

Second try:
98 wpm, 1 mistake (colon instead of semicolon).

Third try:
116 wpm, no mistakes.

I LOVE THESE THINGS. Yeah, I type inhumanly fast. I don't use the home keys specifically, but I do tend to rest my fingers on them sometimes.

When I was younger, my elementary school used to do those Mavis Beacon typing software things. And I was always the best in the class, and I would argue with the teacher when she tried to teach my home keys because I could type so much better without them. Better than her. It was great.

Yeah, I don't know if this one is perfectly accurate but I haven't done this sort of thing in a LONG time. But yeah, I type way too fast.

No, he meant it like in that whole "NO WAY, GET OUT, YOU'RE CRAZY" sort of way.

He learned that expression the other day and he doesn't quite know when it's appropriate yet.

EDIT: cod4 is really good but I wouldn't call it 'perfection' by any criterion.

Not my words. My brother's. Never played it. Don't care.

Yeah, my younger brother is a HUGE CoD fan and he's given me the scoop several times.

Call of Duty 2 was fantastic. Call of Duty 3 sucked. Call of Duty 4 was perfection. Call of Duty: World at War sucked.

Apparently they swap between two developers every game. The people who work on the even-numbered installments make the good games, I guess. I've never played any of them so I don't know.

Haha. I forgot your name was Nathan.

I honestly had no idea what I was going to write, but I knew I had an 8-13 page story due in a week. I wanted to get it started, but I had no ideas. I figured I should start with the name of the main character. I told a friend to pick a name, and whatever he chose, I'd use it. No matter what.

For whatever reason, he chose Nathaniel instead of something like Buttface or #####head. But he said I couldn't call him Nathan. And for some reason, that sparked my thought-process.

And I finished it all in one sitting. I'm going to revise it before I hand it in, but it came out really unique and funny so I'm really proud of it. I've always been a big fan of metafiction and I had a lot of fun writing like that.